When Mike the editor said we needed an article written on vagina facts, there was really only one person forit. It was basically an article made for them. It was perfect. Sadly today is Daisy’s day off so I have to do it… and I don’t even know how tospell vageyener!
But, you know, I’m going to give it my best shot. About half of the people I’ve ever seen are women so that has to count for something, right?
1. They can fall out
As weird as it sounds, falling vaginas are somewhat common. One in ten women will require surgery for pelvic organ prolapse in their lives. In particularly severe cases, the walls of the vagina will sit outside of the body.
This would usually only happen after a complicated childbirth, being overweight, having a hysterectomy or just getting old. To counteract this, women are encouraged to exercise their vaginas to keep the muscles strong and supportive.
2. Women can pee out of them
Firstly, just to clarify, women pee through their urethra, not their vagina. HOWEVER! Some women do have a little bit of leakage which leads to urine flowing down the wrong hole. A urogenital fistula is a fissure between the bladder and vagina which is usually caused by a long, obstructed labour.
3. They’re fantastic for storage
In 2011, a Scranton burglar admitted to hiding 54bags of heroin and $51.22 in her vagina. Then in 2014, a corrections officer spotted a loadedgun in a 19 year old womans vagina after shewas arrested for driving with asuspended license.
There was also the case of a Las Vegasmasseuse stealing a customer’s $35,000 Rolex and hiding it in her… lady bits.
4. Women can be born without them
About one in 5,000 woman suffer from this at birth.Vaginal agenesis is a congenital disorder causedby the incomplete development of the muscularcanal connecting the cervix to the vulva, akathe vagina. So, you know… that’s a thing.
5. They can (ugh) ooze “white flowers”
We’ve got a lot to thank antibiotics for here. Before they were readily available (and even now sometimes), women frequently suffered from copious amounts of pungent discharge.
For some reason, the old-timey folk decided to call this discharge “white flowers”… perhaps they were being ironic? And while there’s a lot of causes for this, doctors of the day almost completely missed the point and blamed it on too much sitting…
6. Some women thought cleaning it with a disinfectant cleaning product was a good idea
In the early twentieth century, Lysol marketed their product aggressively and succesfully to women as a vaginal douche.
This is very ill-advised and Lysol just targeted women’s insecurities. Nice. In general, doctors don’t encourage douching as is can affect the vaginal flora and, despite everything, cause infection.
7. People thought it was an inside-out penis…
Yep. As late as the 17th century, medical professionals believed the vagina to be an inside-out penis. It comes from the Greeks who were under the impression that the womb would wonder around the woman’s body and the ovaries were the scrotum inside the body.
8. Some women are unaware of their cervix
The cervix feels like a tip of a nose with a small hole that dilates during childbirth and then shrinks again afterwards. Excluding childbirth, nothing can get through the cervix as the hole is too small. Sperm can because it’s microscopic but that’s basically it.
With how the cervix feels, some women, whilst fidling about, feel it and mistake it for something stuck up there – such as a tampon. With that in mind, they’ve been known the try and remove it.
One woman even went as fer to use her husband’s pliers to yank it out… she required reconstructive surgery.
9. They can grow teeth.
There’s a fair few tales where an angry woman’s vagina castrates and unsuspecting man during unwanted sex but they’re pretty much not true. However, they’re notthat detached from the real world…
ln extremely rare instances a dermoid cystarising from pleuripotential cells may develop inthe female reproductive organs. These cysts cangrow skin, sebaceous glands, hair, bone andeven brain.
Even then, it can’t bite off a man’s penis.
10. Sex is both good and bad for it
Having sex to orgasm can reduce your stress and anxiety.Having an orgasm increases oestrogen, which increases oxytocin release, which in turn reduces cortisol production (the main stress hormone).
However, if you have too much sex, you can suffer from chaffing and a urinary tract infection. That’s why you should always pee after sex… does it good, yeah?!
(I couldn’t find a picture of a woman with her thumbs up post-sex)
So there you have it. I never said it would be sexy…
Because that definitely wasn’t. Apologies.
What do you think? Let us know in the comments!